Friendship Diversity:
Friendship is such a variety! It can take place anywhere: any size, any shape, any person. Don’t set boundaries for your friends. Reach out to new people! Try something new! It can open you up to so many opportunities, including new perspectives and journeys. Friendship diversity takes place multiple ways. Read on to find out more about some of the different forms friendship can take and some of the barriers you might face.
Age: People older than you can help guide you through life. They can offer their opinion and advice. Meanwhile, people younger than you can show you life through their eyes. In addition, you can even make a difference in their lives.
Gender: Boys and girls sometimes just want to be friends, but they are afraid others may mistake their relationship as romantic. To help, make sure to send clear signals to your friend.
Money-Related Differences: Everyone has a different and unique story. They may have a different economic background too. Be mindful of your friends and discover something that you all can and like to do together.
Explore Different Interests: You and your friends may have some of the same interests. However, consider sharing your special interests that are unique just to you. Go explore each of your friends’ personal unique interests; you may discover more than you could imagine!
Looks: Sometimes people find themselves avoiding someone because of how they look. Instead, look at who they truly are: their personality, their interests, and their talents. It’s what is on the inside that matters.
Labels: Many find that labels and stereotypes are very easy to make. However, they are most likely clouding your vision of seeing who the person or group really is. Instead of labeling, try to describe what that person does, how they act, etc. You may learn something you never knew about that person- and maybe even make a new friend!
Religions: Sometimes people feel uncomfortable making friends with people outside of their religion. Yet, others have done research and realize that there are quite a few religions that believe some of the same things. Don’t set barriers because of religion; instead learn the connections and the things that set you apart. This can help you gain confidence in making friends!
Languages: Hearing and speech differences can cause problems in making friendships. The best thing to do is make the best of it. If a foreign language is making the barrier, try drawing pictures, using body language, or talking slowly to help. You can become closer by using your differences.
And there you have it! These are some of the many different friendship barriers out there. However, don’t set boundaries using these or other barriers! Be YOU and set yourself on a mission: to reach out to others and discover the many different shapes and forms friendship can take!
The Levels of Friendship:
When you think of the word friend, what do you think of? Maybe you think about someone who is always there for you or someone who likes you for you and not the you they want you to be. Whatever the case may be, friends are important. They help you when you are down and they make every bit of your life better. Friends are great to have, but did you know that there are different types of friends? Here are the eight different types of friends.
The I-Know-Them-But-I-Don’t-Know-Them Friend: This is the person who you know little things about, like their name and some basic information that you might trade with anyone you just meet, but you don’t know much more than that. Most, if not all, friendships start this way.
The More-Than-Acquaintance Friend: This is the person who you know better than the friend mentioned in #1, but you aren’t good enough friends to share secrets. Most of the time, you have some things in common with each other, but that is not a necessity.
The Herd Friend: This is the friend that you spend time with when you are with a group of mutual friends or acquaintances. Some examples might be a friend from your sports team or drama club. You likely talk to them on a more superficial level rather than a deep level where you share secrets.
The Secret-Keeper: This is the person who you share secrets and dreams with. You trust that they won’t make your secret public for people to know.
The Counselor: This is the person who helps you through things in your life. They cheer you on and give you the support that you need to be the best version of yourself.
The Resource Friend: This is the person who helps you make connections with other people who can help you in life. This is also someone you can help as well. It is a symbiotic relationship.
The Teacher: This is the person who helps you learn about something new. They might teach you things that you never thought you could learn about. They are there to help you.
The Example: This is the person who you look to as an example in life. They might be the person who gets good grades and inspires you to strive for success.
Friendship Quiz: How Healthy is Your Friendship?
There are two types of friendships: Good Friendships, and Toxic ones. Think about the relationships that you share with your friends. Do you think it might be toxic? The quiz below is a great tool to help you determine this for yourself. Note: The results from this quiz may not be the most accurate. If you get a result that says “toxic” or something similar, that does not mean that you should just abandon the friendship without any reason. With that said, if there is a reason and you feel that it is time to let this friendship go, then you should. Just make sure you do it in a nice way.
After you have been hanging out with your friend do you feel…
Happy
Belittled
Somewhere in the middle
Your friend…
Makes you feel good about yourself
Uses put downs
Somewhere in the middle- a little of both
You find yourself…
Acting the way you would if your friend wasn’t there/being true to you
Acting the way your friend wants you to act so you can fit in
A mix of both
Your friend…
Stands up for you when you need it
Picks on you and belittles you
A mix of both/depends on the day
When you hang out with your friend, you find yourself…
Being a part of the group/part of the conversations (in a good way)
Excluded and isolated from the group
Somewhere in between/They only reply when they start the conversation
You have caught your friend…
Saying good things about you or being kind to you
Saying mean things behind your back or being violent in a way towards you such as making rude hand gestures towards you or swearing at you
Mix of both
Has your friend ever said something mean and then said, “It was a joke,” or something to that effect?
No, never
Yes, all the time
Maybe once or twice…
Does your friend tend to share your secrets with the world?
No, they would never!
Yes, all the time. They can’t be trusted
Kind of, yes. They might have let one or two slip.
Your friend…
Embraces/tolerates your beliefs or choices
Teases or hurts you physically or mentally because of your beliefs or choices
Somewhere in between
Has your friend ever humiliated you on purpose?
No, they would never do that.
Yes, they do it frequently.
They do it every now and then.
Has your friend ever gotten you in trouble for something you didn’t do?
No, they wouldn’t do that.
Yes, it has happened many times.
It has happened once or twice before.
Does your friend point out the bad aspects of people? (Like clothing choice, grades, popularity, etc.)?
No, they don’t do that.
Yes, they do it all the time.
They do it every now and then.
On a scale of one to ten, how bossy is your friend towards you and other people?
0-3. They are not bossy at all
8-10 They are always bossing people around
4-6 They are somewhere in between.
Now, it is time to tally up your answers. Every time you chose option A, add 5 points. Every time you chose option B, add 1 point. Every time you chose option C, add 3 points.
If you get between 13 and 30 points, your friendship is really toxic. Your friend seems to like to change you to fit their version of you and then they choose to make you feel bad about yourself. They bully you and others around you to bring themselves up and make themselves feel better. This relationship is a ship that might have already sailed. You can try to fix it, but it won’t be easy.
If you get between 31 and 48 points, your friendship is mediocre. It could be better, but it is not toxic. Sometimes, your friend is nice and other times it seems like they are out to get you. You should tell your friend how their actions affect you and how they make you feel. If they can’t accept that their behavior towards you is unacceptable, then it might be time to find better friends. You can still try to fix it. It is possible.
If you get between 49 and 65 points, your friendship is in very good health. Your friend respects the fact that you are your own person. They understand that you have your own priorities and that you need to be you. They don’t try to force their beliefs on you and you don’t do it to them. There is mutual respect between you and that is a good thing.
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